I Can't
by Sammy Heroes
Summary: Red is not able to physically have kids, meaning that if he were to ever mate, no egg will come out. It doesn't matter how badly he wants them. He hasn't told anyone, except now, Chuck and Bomb. Hopefully, Chuck will keep his mouth shut. Movieverse 2016 (Rated T because of themes and language) one shot.


**Hey there! I am so glad that my last fic (Depression) was received so well even though there aren't a lot of the movie's fans. This fic however, is based on a headcanon I have that Red is not able to physically have kids, meaning that if he were to ever mate, no egg will come out. This occurred to me during the movie since he obviously has a soft spot for hatchlings and almost every time he looked a one he looked sad. Forgive me if this is too sad, but to me, it makes a lot of sense.**

 **I don't own Angry Birds. Rated T for language ahead.**

 **I Can't:**

The flock had continued their anger management reunions after seeing lots of improvement since the kidnapping of the eggs (Matilda insisted on it). They suspected it was an excuse disguised as a get together. Nobody was about to complain. It was rather nice now that they knew each other and were a little bit more inclined to the group activities Matilda brought. Yesterday they had a house of cards building competition. Terence won, don't argue with that logic.

Today they sat in a circle until Matilda came in with her folders as usual. She sat down on her pillows and smiled. "Hello, everyone. Today we are going to do something slightly different. Taking into account our progress, we'll be talking about our deepest desires and/or fears." Matilda quickly added next. "You should remember this is just a trust exercise."

Red looked around. No one seemed to be arguing with it. Bomb raised his hand. "I'll go first."

"Excellent, Bomb!" Matilda motioned him to go on.

"Well… My biggest desire…" Bomb started. "I always wanted to be a pianist."

Matilda smiled. "Oh, really? Do you play?"

Bomb looked down. "No. I tried to get classes, but I always ended up exploding it." He sighed. "I wish I could… And my fear is a little obvious, you know, as hurting somebody with my 'explosive' attitude." He looked down. He was greeted with claps and pats on the back.

"Oh, Bomb. But have you thought of taking classes now? Your power seems to be in great control so far."

Bomb tapped his chin and smiled. "Yeah, I think I could."

Terence was up next. He never spoke. He just looked at Matilda and gave her a goofy smile. Matilda blushed. "Aww…"

Red had to admit, they made an adorable couple, but if they kept glancing at each other with googling eyes while he was sitting between them, he would go mad. Luckily, Matilda snapped out of it. "OK, Chuck, your turn."

Chuck cleared his throat. "Well, please don't laugh, but I would really love to be an astronaut. Imagine the possibilities! I could run around the moon and then build a pool up there and then play with gravity. That would be awesome!"

Matilda chuckled. "And what about your fear?"

Chuck growled. "Another speed ticket… You wouldn't believe how many I have."

Red smiled. "Try us."

Chuck smirked. "Five hundred and seventy tree."

Red just stared. "Damn…"

Matilda shook her head. With Chuck, anything was possible. "What about you Red?"

"Me? I… I don't know…"

Chuck sighed. "Don't worry, Red. I know your secret."

Red arched an eyebrow. "What…"

"You're gay, are you?"

Red frowned. "What the _fuck_ , Charles!?"

"Language!" Matilda scolded.

"Sorry…" Red apologized.

"You're not?" Chuck asked.

"No!" Red answered.

"Whoops… sorry." Chuck said, then frowned. "And don't call me Charles."

Red smirked. ' _I won't make any promises, you yellow bastard…_ ' Then he learned his throat. "Well, my fear is that I… that I… that I'm out casted again." He shut his beak. He received nods of understanding. "And I wish…" He blushed. "I wish that one day I become a dad." He scratched his arm in embarrassment.

"Aww… Red." Matilda said with a smile. "I'm surprised you aren't yet."

"That's nothing!" Chuck said. "He just needs a pretty bird to-" Bomb placed a hand over Chuck's beak, instantly shutting him up. Red was silently thankful.

"Although," Bomb started. "I'm more surprised that you have yet to find a girl…"

Red was not thankful anymore.

"Oh, let him be. I'm sure the right girl will come around." Matilda said. "I can be godmother, right?"

"Um, sure I guess." Red answered. He mentally sighed. If they only knew.

OOO

After their reunion, Red made his way towards the beach. As he walked by the shore, he sighed and stopped. "I know you're there." He heard Chuck curse under his breath and came out of his hiding spot, Bomb followed after.

"Why are you following me?"

"Tell us what's wrong. I know you are hiding something." Chuck said.

"Charlie, it's nothing that you should worry about."

"Don't call me Charlie! It's CHUCK!"

Bomb, sensing the upcoming fight, interfered. "What Chuck means is that you looked a little uncomfortable with the whole 'dad' confession."

"Yeah, well, don't make me more uncomfortable. Bye, bye!" Red turned around to leave when Chuck grabbed his arm.

"Relax, man! We just want to help."

Red freed his arm from Chuck's grip. "There's nothing you can do. Unless you are some kind of super doctor, then no."

Bomb frowned. "Why would you need a doctor? What's that got to do with this?"

Red crossed his arms and looked away towards the horizon. He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Chuck asked. Red looked at him and sighed.

"Alright, you know the birds and the bees?"

"Dude, I know the birds and the bees better than anyone in this island." He smirked.

' _Pervert…_ ' Red thought. "Then you know how eggs are made."

"Well, duh!"

Red's frown was gone, replaced by a look of sadness. "Well, I can't make one."

"Huh?" Both birds asked, not believing their ears.

Red looked down. "I can't have children." He clarified. "Sure, there's always adoption, but with my record, it's nearly impossible to get approved. I _could_ be approved, if I get a mate. Even then, the possibilities are low." He bit his upper lip. "Don't tell anyone. Only you guys and the medic know."

"What makes you think I would tell anyone?" Chuck asked innocently.

Red glared. "Because you surely love gossip, _Charlene._ "

"It's CHUCK!" Chuck yelled. "Although… I kind of like the name Charlene. If I was a girl."

"Now, Red." Bomb said. "We won't tell anyone."

"Not even Matilda?" Chuck asked. That earned him a smack on the head.

"As I was saying," Bomb continued. "We won't tell anyone unless you want to. Why don't we go and get some lunch. I'm starving."

"I call seed burgers!"

"I call worm noodles!"

"Hey, Red?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you don't _need to try it_? Because I know this girl…"

"Chuck?"

"Yeah?"

"Screw you."

 **Forgive me if some themes looked a little out of place, but if you saw the movie, you'll know what Chuck did in certain scene. XD**


End file.
